Volition Watch Oracle > Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What the hell is this thing?
A. The Volition Watch Oracle was a system developed to provide answers to the many questions that people have regarding games and products produced by Volition, Inc.. In a perfect world all of these questions would be related to Volition and their games, but we live in a far from perfect world as you can see by just browsing through a few items on the front page.
Q. Didn't you guys rip off The True Meaning of Life and The Conversatron?
A. This site was largely inspired by the True Meaning of Life and The Conversatron (That's just the nice way of saying 'Yes'). We insist, however, that you visit the two sites seeing as how they are far funnier than us. If you want to see the grand daddy of them all, go to the Usenet Oracle.
Q. Why?
A. Originally the staff decided to make this in the wake of the Mail Bag's miserable failure (No one used it). Besides, it gave us all something to do at work.
Q. Why aren't my questions being answered?
A. Realistically we can't answer every question, and we can't post everything submitted because there are some rather... unscrupulous people on the internet. Goatse.cx is only funny for so long, you know.
Q. What's Goatse.cx?
A. If you don't know, you don't need to worry.
Q. Why won't the persona I asked for answer my question?
A. Not all personas will be available all the time. Besides, when multiple personas start to interact things get more amusing.
Q. Are these people really writing reponses on the site?
A. Oh yeah. Definately. You bet.
Q. Can I become a persona?
A. You can either become a VW staffer or you can give us your first born child, then we might consider it. Otherwise: No.
Q. Why are the personas making fun of me?
A. Either stop being a dork or use a spell checker.
Q. Can I suggest persona additions?
A. If you really, really want to, but be aware that we might not add anything.
Q. Why do I have to have an account? Why can't we do this anonymously like Forum 2010?
A. Because all the personas like to sit down and decide who we hate and who we like and skew all of our responses accordingly. So far we hate you all.
Q. How can I get my question and response list on the Best of All Time page?
A. What goes on the Best of All Time page is decided by the staff. Sorry. A function that would allow readers to vote on threads might be added with later revisions of the script.
Q. My picture/creation is being used by you guys! I want it to stop NOW!
A. E-mail us at this address and we'll gladly stop using your material. Just be aware that the site is for entertainment purposes only and we don't mean THAT much harm...

Page interface copyright 2000-2001 Volition Watch.
Volition Watch Oracle based on the stupid suggestion of Brian "Plasma" Glynn, scripted by Kyle "Orange" Spahn and Ben "Remora" Dekarske.
All images not created by Volition Watch for this page are copyrighted by their respective owners. Please review the 'Askees' page for applicable links.
This page exists strictly for entertainment purposes and is not a representation of the opinions and/or beliefs of the personalities portrayed above or anywhere else on this page. Don't eat yellow snow, don't run with scissors, and remember that life is all in good fun.