Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 41

The Xills start exploding one by one, and the remains come together to reconstitute Lazarus, who then releases his pet 19th level demon, which growls at R128 Blueflames...

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 41

The Xills start exploding one by one and the remains move to reform Lazarus, who then turns and releases his 19th level pet demon at Blueflames...

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First thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thous't then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once thou hast counted to three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, at thine foe, who, being naughty in mine sight, shall snuff it.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 271

Heh, I got someone who opposed the post in on the it! Woohoo! Now, I'll just have to kill him again.

::Summons up some more Xills (directly this time.... Don't feel like waiting for them to hatch.) and watches as they tear appart the pitiful 19th level, generic demon and lay their batches of eggs in it's gut. They hatch extrodinarilly fast due to the heat of the demon's blood, and the new and experienced Xills move toward Lazarus.::

Wait....

::Looks down Keef's throat to make sure.::

Back off guys.... ::Grabs Lazarus by the throat and opens him up in the same manner as I did with Keef. Getting a more horrific odor than usual, I decide the blood has probably spoiled and isn't worth the time or effort.::

Ah well.... Time to feed another soul to the Pillar.

::Steps through a portal, dragging Lazarus' pitiful excuse for a soul, kicking and screaming, and returns a minute later, muttering.::

Low-quality? Yeah, well.... I guess they're right.... I still would have liked better payment.

::Summons up an elf for a quick drink as opposed to the crap that runs through Lazarus' veins.::

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 253

*some of the Xill goo lands in Shadows citric acid*

Shadow: Why you little!!!!!!!

*Shadow throws his glass of acid onto Lazarus*

*Lazaruses eyes melt*

Lasarus: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

*Shadow takes out his blade and then approaches Lazarus who is still screaming*

*Shadow slits Lazaruses throght(sp?) and gargles are heard instead of screams*

*Lazarus Falls to to four feet and chokes on his blood*

*Lazarus tries to scream while Shadow makes a long slit along his back, but it only results in more blood pouring out*

*Shadow rips out Lazaruses spine and Lazarus falls dead to the ground*

*Shadow walks up to the bar*

Shadow: One glass of pure Alcohol.

Bartender: Here you go.

Shadow: Thanks

*Shadow pours the alcohol on Lazarus and lights his body on fire*

Shadow: Who's up for marshmellows?

*Shadow impales a marshmellow on Lazaruses spine and starts rosting it*

[This message has been edited by Shadow (edited 09-09-2000).]

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 23

*Artimus reforms like the T-1000, then calls down his personal Acolyte fighter (which burns no fuel). He takes off, and looks around, and makes a dive tword Keef...*

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One foot is two feet minus one foot expressed in feet.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Lo-Fidelity All Star
Posts: 2273

Wow you people are bloodthirsty! lol

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 271

Shrike is catching on now.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Lo-Fidelity All Star
Posts: 2273

No, I meant it literally. People are drinking blood around here. When are the pseudo-goth vampires going to show up, I wonder....

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: North Pole, Alaska, USA
Posts: 176

*The Soul of Dravin hangs a sign around his non-exsistant neck that reads, "Please someone resurect me!"*

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"Where ever you go, there you are!" - Said by *someone*

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Clinton, NY, USA
Posts: 77

Suuure Dravin.. I gotcha' covered.

*Some convenient object, uh, a glass on the table, melts down. The liquid glass drips to the floor where it reforms into Dravin.*

Happy?

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 253

*Shadow sees Dravin is alive again*

Shadow: Naw that'd be nasty.

*Shadow Snaps his fingers and Artimus dies instead*

Shadow: There we go.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: North Pole, Alaska, USA
Posts: 176

*Dravin heartily thanks Scythe while quickly putting on his Anti-Death Suit(tm)*

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"Where ever you go, there you are!" - Said by *someone*

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 41

Lazarus' soul rises from the roast, then looks around mournfully. Seeing a vacant tankard, he posseses it and causes it to smack into Shadow, who collapses to the floor.
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First thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thous't then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once thou hast counted to three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, at thine foe, who, being naughty in mine sight, shall snuff it.

[This message has been edited by Lazarus (edited 09-10-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Lazarus (edited 09-10-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Lazarus (edited 09-10-2000).]

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 271

*Little did Lazarus know that the tankard he possessed was filled with hydrochloric acid and was in the process of melting. Lazarus is merely goo on the floorboards before he is even near Shadow.*

::Up-ends the decapitated elf, just to make sure it's empty.::

Damn.... Vile, little creatures run dry too fast.....

::Summons up a hill-giant.::

YEEESSSSSSS!

::A fourty-foot long straw appears in my hands, with a VERY sharp end to it. Promptly driving it into the hill-giant's chest, my drinking pleasure is more than sustained for several hours.::

Mmmmm.... Full of nice meaty chunks too.

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Registered: Jul 2000
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 253

*Shadow seeing BlueFlames drinking gets thirsty and proccedes to take Hex's bottle of minion juice*

*Shadow pops the cork off*

*The cork rockets towards Keef*

*The corks spears through Keef passing by his heart*

Shadow: Hehe.

*Shadow takes a drink*

Shadow: Woah, Hex now that's good minion juice.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 41

The puddle of Hydrochloric Acid that is now Lazarus rears up and sloshes over Shadow, who starts melting into a puddle himself

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First thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thous't then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once thou hast counted to three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, at thine foe, who, being naughty in mine sight, shall snuff it.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 271

Or I could randomly spill some Lye on Lazarus to neutralize his acidic properties and turn him into the rough equivilant of water.....

::Spills some Lye on Lazarus to neutralize his acidic properties and turn him into the rough equivilant of water.::



::Takes another slurp from the Hill Giant.::

Shrike.... This bar is going to have to have some menu reform soon.... Alchoholic beverages don't seem to cut it anymore.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 41

Lazarus moves from the water to possess a nearby chair, which then splinters, with many chunks of wood ending up sticking out of Blueflames and Shadow

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First thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thous't then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once thou hast counted to three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, at thine foe, who, being naughty in mine sight, shall snuff it.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 96

HeX: Name your drink Blueflames and it shall be made. We've got a little of everything here from all corners of the galaxy. Hmmm...what's this...XXXXXXXXXX Hot Sauce. Must be the weak stuff.

*HeX pours a drop on a nearby table and the table is reduced to a pile of ashes*

HeX: Yep...weak stuff. The good stuff should have caused a nuclear reaction. Oh well...take what you can get. GLUG GLUG GLUG. *Burp*.

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Registered: Aug 2000
Location:
Posts: 271

::Pulls the stick out of my stomach.::

Lazarus, you should read the WHOLE thread before threatening me again.

::The open wound reseals itself without releasing a single drop of blood.::

Now I'm going to have to destroy your pitiful excuse of a soul too. Not difficult work, but I'm just trying to enjoy a drink here, and if you keep pissing off Shadow, that will be a difficult thing to do.

::Takes Lazarus's soul by the neck and heads off to Baator again. Not long after, I return with the Shade that was once Lazarus' soul and tell it to eternally torment HeX until the end of time. The Shade complies.::

Now, HeX.... You fool. NEVER make jokes at my expense. That Shade will forever taunt you, demean you, and non-fatally injure you until you're dead. Then it'll hack and slash your soul until you WISH you were in the Pillar of Skulls. Just like that psychologist that said I had a bad childhood.... In NO WAY did the nineth plane of hell corrupt my mind! NO SNIDE REMARKS FROM YOU HILL-GIANT!!!!

::Slurps the heart of the beast through the straw and swallows it whole, somehow without choking.::

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