ivan
VW Alumni

Registered: Oct 2000
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 351 |
Why is every damn thread here about FS?
What the hell is wrong with you people? This is like the first time I've checked these boards in months and I see that every single thing is crap or about Freespace? Where are all the RF threads, but more importantly where are all the ivan is great threads Orange promised me would be here?
Some fan club you goons are! Come on now, aren't any of you RF, Summoner, and ivan fans? Love me. I said looovvvveee mmmeeee! No wait, please don't leave. I'll be your friend. You can take me to meat your parents.
So, tomorrow is the last day of E3 and I've learned a couple of things.- Developers are cool, while publishers are generally ****heads with absolutely no knowledge of the game.
- The term booth babe should be used lightly as most of them are booth skanks.
- People who work at Gamespy (homeboy Sonic excluded) are the people you hate in online communities and are also the people you tried so hard to ignore in highschool.
- Don't sit down anywhere around THQ's booth, even if you work there and it's on a chair.
- Drinking twelve beers and proclaiming yourself Lord of the Rings is accepted and actually endorsed.
- Apparently Bill Gates bought Portugal, because every Portuguese person I met was quick to proclaim the Xbox as the ruler of the known universe even surpassing the power that is He-Man.
- Always look at a dude's badge before you start randomly cutting down a product... Man, that Blood Omen 2 game is total crap. Wait, what does your badge say? Uh, oh... I mean Blood Omen 2 sucks donkey nuts in a good way.
- Sega is a bunch of jerks. They have this enormous booth, but it's entirely closed off unless you got a Sega sticker.

- If you want to sell a piece of crap, the Kentia Hall is the place to do it.
- You should actually pick up one of those E3 directory book things instead of wandering around aimlessly asking people if they know where Joe is.
- Don't ask before you take anything. Just take it and if they question you speak with a heavy Russian accent. "Me no knowa you rules, capitalist pig."
- If someone is playing a game for too long swear at him/her and they are guaranteed to give up the controller. I actually did this to some punkass biotch who was playing Eternal Darkness. I think my actual words were like, "What, you gonna play the whole f_ing game? Yeah, you'd better walk away, before I beat your a$$." She walked away really fast after I said that.
- Similarly, if there is a big line for a game, just walk up to the front and swear at the person playing and they'll give you the controller before anyone else.
- Randomly screamin "Idiot, switch to the God damned cockpit view" is not a way to make friends while waiting to play Rogue Leader.
- Just because a guy is from china, doesn't mean he knows your friend Wang.
- Cops carry clubs for a reason.
- Cabbies do not like being referred to as stupid-a$$.
And the final thing I learned from E3 is that...
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Normally I'm not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.
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