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Shadow: BlueFlames!! Long time no see you post here. I'm up for a fight.

*Shadow throws a Broadsword at BlueFlames forehead*

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The hell with orders!!

They came to Slay me. They ventured into the darkness witH their weapons of deAth. They
sought to show their courage and to be proclaimeD as heroes. But instead they shall meet their
dOom at my hands,Without mercy.

::Grabs the broadsword in flight with my left hand and pulls the Blade of Dementia out with my right::

Time to die sucka!

::Broadsword melts into a white-hot ball, which is promptly thrown at Shadow's face::

Heh. Shadow in the iron mask.

*The white-hot ball reforms into a broad sword in mid air because it was make out of twinky and Shadow catches it*

Shadow: Fool, you cannot hurt a twinky.

*Shadow gives Dravin the Broadsword and takes out his Special Blade (see earlier in the story)*

Shadow: Bring it on!!

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The hell with orders!!

They came to Slay me. They ventured into the darkness witH their weapons of deAth. They
sought to show their courage and to be proclaimeD as heroes. But instead they shall meet their
dOom at my hands,Without mercy.

::Souls of darkness begin to rise from the depths of hell. While I'm busy taunting Shadow, the souls possess the beer-taps.::

How about a peace offering? Have a drink. <insert evil smily here>

::Various alcoholic beverages spew in inch wide streams with a force of over 72,000 PSI, slicing Shadow into thousands of tiny pieces.::

*Sigh* You had to bring your poor minion into this too.... Ah well....

::The tavern begins to creek and moan as it changes shape.::

Behold! The almighty tavern-golem!!

::The tavern-golem spews chairs and termites out of its mouth, covering Darvin. Meanwhile, I grab a can of gas.::

Deck the halls with gasoline....

::Empties about eight gallons on the pile in which Darvin is buried.::

Light a match and watch it gleam....

::Stands way back, and chucks a piddly little fireball at Darvin.::

Fa la la-----BOOOOOOMMMM!!!!

::In the ensuing firestorm which lights up the night-covered ground for miles around, I whistle to myself the tune, "...always look on the bright side of life..."::

*The piece of Shadow absorb the alcohol and then reform into Shadow*

Shadow: Ahh thanks for the drink, but I like ICE with it.

*With those words a huge blast of wind flows past Shadow and hits BlueFlames freezing him solid*

Shadow: Ahh now for that golem.

*Shadow grabs the golem and throws him onto the frozen body of BlueFlames. They both shatter on contact*

Shadow: What a mess.

*Shadow summons hundreds of rats aswell as Dravin back. The rats proceed to eat every last part of BlueFlames and then leave*

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The hell with orders!!

They came to Slay me. They ventured into the darkness witH their weapons of deAth. They
sought to show their courage and to be proclaimeD as heroes. But instead they shall meet their
dOom at my hands,Without mercy.

"Entertaining. But have you ever tried using a sword rather than various liquor bottles in various states of existence? And one more thing. As of right now, are your rats either bionic or very, very cold?"

::The rats explode, revealing my mutilated remains. The remains liquify (T1000 like!) and reform my body, then take on a natural flesh tone again.::

That was surprisingly refreshing. Now.....

::The remains of the rats liquify, and each little chunk begins to grow into a bright, shiny, new Red Abishai.::

I bet you think you know what's about to happen, don't you? Well HA!

::Fault line opens right beneath Shadow. The ground separates beneath him too quickly for him to have grabbed hold of the edge.::

Now.... Darvin HAD to be reanimated...... You're putting him through much more pain than he's worth......

::A single Abishai picks Darvin up and chucks him into the crack. The fault line promptly and instantly seals.::

Oh, but I'm not done yet!

::Chucks a uber fireball into the nearest volcano. Moments later, the planet is aproximately seven feet wider in diameter, and Darvin and Shadow have both been expelled from the core into the cold expanse of space.::

*24000 years later*

SPLAT!!!

::The drivers of the Sathanas look at each other.::

Ewwww..... Human goo!!! Turn the wipers on damnit!

::Wipers jam.::

Warning! The Colossus is coming around for another attack on the engine section. All hands, brace for impact

Damnit! If those wipers can't do it, I'll do it myself!!!

::The upper-right beam cannon charges and fires directly into the main command deck of the Sathanas, wiping out all trace of Shadow and Darvin with it.::

*Return to present*

I've got 24,000 years to relax now. ::Zaps the bar back into existance.:: Woohoo!!

Hey, no jumping 24,00 year ahead in time.

*Shadow fires a grapling hook at the planet form space, and then reels himself back in, surprisingly not being burned up in the atmosphere, He walks back to the bar*

Shadow: I pity you.

*Shadow summons the same amount of darknesses as tthere are Abishai, the darknesses posses the Abishai and start pounding BlueFlames into a bloody pulp*

::I walk out from the attacking Abishai, unscathed.::

Well hot damn. It was the darkness that summoned them, you really think they'd ACTUALLY beat me into a pulp? Hmmm..... Lemme think of some creative way to obliterat--- See? Didn't even need to finish the sentence. You're messing with Rant God #2 you know.

::Encases Darvin, Shadow, and a small Walkman with a looping tape in it inside a hardened, depleted Uranium case.::

I damn you for all of eternity to listen to my rantings. There is no escape from your fate. ::Inards of the case catch fire, except for the tape player.:: Scorch more Lore.

"I need not listen to your rantings. Sorry."

*DarkHorse casts Temporal Stasis on BlueFlames*

*Darklord disspells the spell on Blueflames*

Darklord: Die.

*Points at darkhorse*

Darklord: Now I have returned from a world of exams I will wreak havoc upon you. But first I'll have some tea. Well I am english.

Ack! Bobcat's getting stuck in the crossfire. HELP!

*Darklord turns to bobcat*

Darklord: Die

*Darklord casts a level 15 fireball in the gereral direction of bobcat*

Woohoo!! My 'summon random VWBB patron' spell worked!

*Shadow and Dravin walk rigth through the depleated uranium casing*

Shadow: It's good to be a Shadow ain't it Dravin?

Dravin: Yup.


Shadow: Let's leave.

Dravin: Whatever you say master.

*Sahdow and Dravin leave the bar. Blue Flames begins laughing but then notices something on the casing. The casing collapses and begins to fusion with itself releasing massive miunts of energy, destroying the bar and all it patrons*

Shadow: It's a shame really, I kinda liked that bar,... oh well.

Drivin: Yup.

*Bobcat dodges Fire Ball, but barly.*

OWIEEEEE!

*Sirius stares fiercely at nothing in particular. Nothing in particular dies.*

0p0ke.

*DarkHorse shrugs and paces up and down the room.*

"This is getting rather tedious, Darklord. You know, you're just like the English... you also take forever to eat anything. Meanwhile, I could just walk right out of here, but fortunately and unfortunately for you, I don't seriously see the point."

quote:

---

Originally posted by Shadow:
*Sahdow and Dravin leave the bar. Blue Flames begins laughing but then notices something on the casing. The casing collapses and begins to fusion with itself releasing massive miunts of energy, destroying the bar and all it patrons*

---

*Agrees heartily with his new master*

Darklord: And now...

*Darklord walks up to shadows now human form and plunges a flaming hand into his chest*

Darklord: Die.