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-- I challenge anyone... (https://volitionwatch.game-warden.com/vwbb/showthread.php?threadid=1422)

*Phoenix seems amused by how the corpses and skeletons bump into each other as they try to do the Macarena.*

*Ralph the Hooligan takes advantadge of this and reaches into his pocket, only to find that he has no money left for tips.*

*In fear of becoming like the poor bumping sods, he devises a plan. He will continue to order drinks until:

a) Someone finds out about his plan.

b) He actually gets the money to leave a tip.

c) He gets close enough to the door to make a run for it. *

*Just as Ralph is considering his chances, a badly-rotten corpse asks him for a dance, to which he reluctantly accepts.*

Linda the Corpse: Minions! Play something romatic!

*The Minions look at each other and shrug. They suddenly start playing 'Thriller' , as one of the Minions puts on a wig and starts to shake his hips and Moonwalks across the room.*

*Linda presses Ralph close to him, who almost passes out due to the corpse's breath. Linda proceeds to move her hand over Ralph's bottom and, since the wrist is severed, the hand sticks to his rear.*

Ralph the Hooligan: I told them we should've gone to Joe's ! But did they listen to me? Noooooo! Let's go to that bar, there! They said. Let's wreak some havoc there! They said!!

*Shadow exits the retorchered minion who fall to the ground with Seonas eyes gazing evily on him*

Shadow: Ice Heart, come on!?! You have the lord of Death within arms reach and want to die. And what do you do? You settle for killing yourself by the means of some cheap excuse for poison. I mean Whats up with that? I could have of killed you easily, free of charge.

*sigh*

*Shadows whatch beeps*

Shadow: Hmmm, It seems to be time for someone to die.

*Shadow looks at whatch*

Shadow: Ahh yes, Ralf the Hooligan. Cause poisonning; gas.

*Ralf the Hooligan passes out from Linda the corpses breath*

*Shadow takes Ralf an vaporises into his realm*

*Shadow throws Ralf into the pool of black liquid wich quicly absorbs him in a very painful fashion*

*Shadow returns to the bar*

*Shadows whatch vibrates*

Shadow: What now.

*Shadow looks at whatch*

Shadow: Okay sirius, you got 2 hours to live, make the most of them.

Sirius: Huh!?!

Shadow: Dravin, so I see you have become quite adept at using your new found powers. George must be quite good at teaching. And you showed a very creative way of killing, I like it.

Dravin: Thanks, any other mission?

Shadow: No you may do or kill as you please.
Oh yeah I forgot to mention that you become more resistant when your one of my minions, but I see you have discovered that.

Dravin: Yeah that Roiten Drawf was quite blan.

Shadow: Here try some of my drink. You might not be as resistant as me so you'll get a kick.

*Shadow chips a piece of his drink out and gives it to Dravin*

*Shadow chips another piece out of his drink and eats it*

>Shrike slams the portal shut and drops a bag of Essence of SpaceCrack on the floor of his beach house in front of Styxx.<

Lucky I nabbed the Essence of SpaceCrack from Shadow's drink....*shrugs* I just phase-shifted and replaced it with GotterdamerungCrack. He'll appreciate that more, anyhow....plus it doesn't have the nasty side-effects. Hmmm...looks like Artimus is ready for some Essence of SpaceCrack. Lucky lad, it's his first time.

>Shrike splits the spacecrack 50/50 with tequilla, then passes it to Artimus. Artimus absently takes it, drinks it, then *English language does not have sufficient vocabulary*<

Artimus: Wow! I feel complete.

>Artimus goes back to watching the girls.<

Okay, I'm going back to the bar for a bit.... check out the gossip and stuff.

>Shrike appears in the bar and sees the dancing undead.

*covers eyes* Oh geez pheonix.....

PHEONIX!! *the undead all fall over, unanimated* What in the name of [V] are you doing? Allowing low-life undead in here? Necromancers yes, but undead? Man, there's more dead people than live ones in here. And cut out that racket! *Henchmen stop playing bad music*

>Seona horribly mutilates another henchman.<

No wonder! You've got to do something about the deaths in here....it drives out the customers. If you give me 49% of the bar, I'll bring them in by the loads....plus they'll be alive!

>Shrike vanishes back to his planet.<

Oh, I'll be in touch...you know where to find me.

>Seona mutilates one of the musicians before they manage to start playing again, leaving only four.<

------------------
The Earth is a memory. Humanity is scattered. We are two steps from the abyss. Welcome to Nyxfall.
VWBB Prophet
Mission Designer, [url="http://freespace.volitionwatch.com/bel"]Behind Enemy Lines[/url]

*Dravin takes the chip from Shadow's drink and pops it in his mouth apon doing so several things happen.

1. He falls from the stool, and lands on his back.

2. He turns invisable for several seconds.

3. He then begins to convulse violently apon the ground.

4. He begins to vomit blood.

....After several hours of this he finally recovers and returns to his stool.*

Dravin: Tha..*cough*..nks Sha-Sha-Sha-Dow!


------------------
"Where ever you go, there you are!" - Said by *someone*

Lazarus looks at the can of spam, and proceeds to open it very slowly, half expecting some ferocious creature to jump out. After seeing that the can only contains a lump of spam, he proceeds to toss it over his shoulder, and then conjures up a banquet for himself, and invites everyone to join in...

------------------
First thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thous't then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once thou hast counted to three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, at thine foe, who, being naughty in mine sight, shall snuff it.

*Phoenix listens to Shrike, apparently unimpressed. He is getting tired of the undead, so he destroys the ground beneath them, sending them straight to Hell.*

Ice Heart: Hey! What gives?

*Phoenix eyes Ice Heart who hurriedly proceeds to throw various gold pieces on the bar.*

*Phoenix grabs them (including the Fingertip ) and stashes them in his pockets.*

*He then tries to please the other NHotA. He picks up a rock that got stuck in his boot and throws it out the window and into the sky.*

*The rock hits one of the windows of 747, making a sudden loss of pressure that spins the airplane out of control.*

*The plane hits the block just across the street from the bar, causing instant Death to dozens of people. In the ensuing Chaos , that is driving everybody to the edge of Insanity , because of the Pain felt by losing relatives, Destruction takes over the whole block.*

*Surprisingly, the bar is left unscratched.*

Shadow: Tsk, Tsk. I could've done better myself.

Seona: Not painful enough.

HeX: Amateur!

*Scythe mumbles something incomprehensible.*

*Phoenix proceeds to Destroy a chair on as patron's skull, killing him.*

Shadow: That was great!

Seona: Painfully satisfactory!

HeX: A professional piece of work!

*Scythe, once again mumbles something incomprehensible.*

*Phoenix shrugs.*

[This message has been edited by PhoenixBlade (edited 09-18-2000).]

* Styxx notices Artimus' final understanding, as the Essence of SpaceCrackâ„¢ is absorbed by his body. *

Styxx: Good for you, man. Now you're one of the few who can handle it...

Artimus: Aahhhh, that sure was good.

Styxx: You've seen nothing, my friend. Now the learning begins.

* As Shrike returns again from the bar and proceeds to his beach house, where he'll talk to his lawyers and plan the hostile overtake of the Bar, Inc. Styxx snaps his fingers one more time, and the mud-filled arena is replaced by some sort of theatre stage. Lots of lights flare, as the skies strangely darken as if night had fallen. *

Shrike: Hey! Who turned off the day on MY private planet?!?

Styxx: Sorry man, it's just for a while - and it's for a good cause.

Shrike: Alright then. But try asking next time...

* A group of women enters the stage, overly dressed in strange clothes. *

Styxx: Now watch, young apprentice. This is your first lesson...

------------------
And I shall wipe them off the face of the Earth, with the fury of God's own thunder...

[url="http://terra.sourceforge.net"]Visit the Machina Terra Website[/url] - You'll be glad you did.

*HeX pops through a portal onto Shrike's planet much to his surprise. HeX dusts himself off and smiled*

HeX: So interesting in buying part of my Bar eh? Well Yea Old Chugalug doesn't come cheap. How much do you want to buy?

Lawyer 1: 49% and we offer better patronage

*HeX raises an eyebrow and Laywer 1 is folded up and stuffed into his own jacket pocket which turns red with blood*

HeX: Next offer?

Lawyer 2: (glances at bloody jacket of lawyer 1) Uh.....we'll let you keep 50% of the profits.

*Lawyer 2 explodes and the pieces are teleported to the atmosphere where they are incinerated*

HeX: Keep talking.

*The remaining lawyers run screaming from the beach as suddenly the other NHothA appear with devilish grins. They almost make it to the portal to Lawyer Land before they explode/go crazy/fall screaming in pain/twist into pretzels/fall over dead from plagues*

HeX: Tsk tsk tsk. Must be low grade Lawyers. Shrike you can do better then those.

Shrike: Yeah but it sure was entertaining. So what do ya say?

HeX: Okay but I am retaining my job as bartender, Phoenix as bouncer/tip collector, Shadow as random killer, Scythe as resident manic and Seona as Band Motivation Officer

Shrike: Fine by me.

*The NHotA pop back through their portal and resume their places followed by Shrike*

Shrike: Let's see what we can do.

------------------
Founder and Designer of:
)( N Y X F A L L )(
"Mankind just got an eviction notice"

*Dravin sit in boredom, He then notices a frightened patron hiding in the corner*

Dravin: You! come here.

Patron: *gulp* Me?

Dravin: Yes you!

*Patron stumbles across the floor to stand beside Dravin*

Dravin: Here eat this!

*Dravin hands the patron a can marked 'Spam/AoHell mix'*

Patron: Ah...

*Dravin glares at patron*

Patron: Okay...

*patron opens the can and swallows it's contents even though it emits an unearthly wail.*

Dravin: Don't you feel better?

Patron: Well...Yeah!

*Patron then mealts into a puddle of green goo and seeps through the floor boards.*

Dravin: All in a days work.

------------------
"Where ever you go, there you are!" - Said by *someone*

quote:

---

Originally posted by HeX:
Shadow as random killer

---

*Ice Heart watches as his annoying minions are swallowed by the hole in the ground*

Ice Heart: Well, they were getting rather annoying. *as he throws assorted gold peices on the bar for Phoenix*

*Ice stretches his stiff, dead limbs*

Ice Heart: Ah, damn rigor mortis setting in...time to return to the realm of the living. Now where is a suitable victi...err..I mean 'volunteer'.

*Door opens revealing the one unlucky sod who survived the plane crash, Mr. John Doe...he is obviously quite unlucky, else he would have died rather than surviving to stumble into this bar*

Ice Heart: You look like you could use a drink, my good man! *Ice smiles artificially at him*

John Doe: What? Who, me?

Ice Heart: No, the other guy that came in with you.

*Mr. Doe looks around, quite confused*

John Doe: What? Where'd this other guy go?

Ice Heart, muttering to himself: Looks like someone forgot to chlorinate the gene pool when this guy was being spawned...geuss I'll do it myself.

*louder, so John Doe can hear*

Ice Heart: Come over here and let your good buddy buy you a drink!

*Mr. Doe walks over and Ice Heart orders him a particularly potent concoction, then forces it down his throat*

Ice Heart: Would you like a cigarrette now?

*Doe shakes his head negatively*

Ice Heart: You really should have one anyway.

*Shoves cigarrette in his mouth and lights it, then laughs hysterically at the wonderful resultant explosion. Ice then gathers up a few shreds of the late Mr. Doe and puts them in a glass, he also sprinkles a bit of a peculiar looking green powder in as well, then pulls his coffee maker out from his robe and commences to make the most important ingredient.*

*An anonymous patron, fearing for her life after watching Phoenix kill another patron with a chair, wanders over to the other side of the bar where Ice sits. She made the fatal mistake of thinking Ice is too busy making his reviving formula to do anything destructive with her*

Anonymous: Whats that?

Ice Heart: Coffee...very special coffee.

Anonymous: Why is it special?

Ice Heart: Simple, its like Shrike's drink in a way...one must chew it since it is far too strong to drink. Here, have some.

Anonymous: Uhh..no thanks.

*Ice's eyes glow firey red*

Ice Heart: I said, have some...now!

*proceeds to force it down Anonymous' throat and then watches happily as she twitches and bounces about the room uncontrollably, sustaining a number of bruises, broken bones, and other injuries to herself in the process. Ice finishes his pot of coffee and mixes it with the green powder and Mr. Doe remains, then drinks*

Ice Heart: Ah, much better. *Feels something trickling down his wrist, then remembers he had cut it open rather deeply when he was fooling around with the corpses. Removes sewing kit from under his robe and commences to sew the wound shut*

Ice Heart: Great, now that I'm alive again, what to do?

*Notes that Anonymous is still bouncing around the room and is now beginning to bump into a number of things, breaking them. He decides it would be best to halt her flight before she destroys anything more in the bar. So he removes his Merry Maul of Maiming from under his robes and waits for her to come flying across nearby him...a short while later he gets his opportunity and hits a home run, leaving Anonymous as a greasy little stain on the far wall*

*turns to Phoenix*

Ice Heart: That wall was a bit drab, anyway, wasn't it? Maybe if I put a few more up there it will improve it a bit more.

[This message has been edited by Ice Heart (edited 09-18-2000).]

This is getting vaguely hard to follow, all these portals opening everywhere...

By the way, Shadow, I'll happily die in 2 hours once you learn how to spell. :P

Lazarus finishes the banquet, and proceeds to entice a lovely lady from the outside into the bar, then offers her a drink.

Lazarus: One Rotten Dwarf for the lady please...

The lovely lady takes the rotten dwarf and remarkably downs it in one. Lazarus turns to Dravin and shrugs, then throws the lady out.

Lazarus: How was I supposed to know?

------------------
First thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thous't then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once thou hast counted to three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, at thine foe, who, being naughty in mine sight, shall snuff it.

Shadow: Okay one death coming for Sirius in *looks at watch* 1 hour.

Everybody except Sirius: Yay. # P

Shadow: Hmmm, Dravin!

*Dravin appears right beside Shadow*

Dravin: Yes master.

Shadow: Go kill Ice Heart. He's been alive for too long.

Dravin: As you wish.

*Shadow chips another piece out of his drink and eats it*

Shadow: George!

*George the Darkness appears beside Shadow*

George: Yes.

Shadow: Go head hunting, the stupider the better. And then bring him back to me alive or revivable. I've been meaning to get a new mindless Darkness.

George: Okay.

*Phoenix returns to his spot near the door of the bar, acting as a bouncer.*

*The door swings open and in comes an odd figure... Phoenix considers the other patrons and realizes that the figure is actually quite normal, compared to the bar's standards.*

*The figure wears a robe and looks at everyone suspiciously, finally reaching the counter.*

Figure: I'd like... Umm... Something strong but not to strong. With a mild, but not too mild, aftertaste.

HeX: Here, try something a... Slave of mine concocted. I like to call it... Spoils of War .

*Phoenix shrugs. Just as long as he gets to keep the tip, it's all fine by him.*

*The figure drinks everything in one gulp. Soon enough, his eyes are dancing the tango while the rest of his body turns to jello.*

*As the figure's body is jiggling, something falls from the robe. Phoenix approaches it and picks it up.*

*He raises an eyebrow was the object looks like a doll with various pins stuck to it. He takes one out and someone in the room lets out a relieved sigh. He punches the pin back in and one of the patron lets out a yell before collapsing on the floor.*

*Phoenix deduces that this might just be a Voodoo Doll .*

*His first intention is to keep it, but since it looks unpredictable and not particularily destructive, he tosses it to Seona .*

PhoenixBlade: Have fun.

*Seona grins.*

Seona: I sure will.

*Dravin following his masters orders hunts down Ice Heart and hands him a pair of sunglasses.*

Dravin: Here.

Ice Heart: Thanks.

*What Ice Heart doesn't know is that the glasses are actually magical light amplification lenses.*

Dravin: Hey, Ice Heart, look at that light over there.

Ice Heart: Huh...*screams of pain*

*Dravin watches Ice Heart scream in pain as the magnified light burns through his eyes and into his brain.

Ice Heart: *Scream of pain*

*Ice Heart then falls to the floor with a loud thump, and gives his final death throes.*

Dravin: Ah, That's what those do.

*Dravin melts into the shadows to reappear beside Shadow several seconds later.*

Dravin: How was that boss?

------------------
"Where ever you go, there you are!" - Said by *someone*

* DarkHorse just looks on.

*Darklord appears in an unfamiliar realm, surrounded by bumbling fools. He decides to conquor it. Walking over to IceHearts body, he murmers a few words.

Darklord: Murmor murmor

*ice heart slowly climbs to his feet"

Ice Heart: Massssterrrr...

Darklord: Bring me the head of the foolish knave who hast done this to you.

Ice Heart: Thisss isss not sssshakesspear, massster...

Darklord: Kill him. Now.

...


------------------
mrjonnyp@hotmail.com
ICQ:76371255
[url="http://ross128.telefragged.com"]Ross 128[/url] Mission Guru

Shadow: Wonderful.

*IceHeart starts approaching Dravin*

Dravin: Great, a suicide mission.

Shadow: Naw, you done your job. You may do as you wish now. It'll be my pleasure to deal with these two.

*Dravin vaporises*

*IceHeart sees Dravin vaporising and then notices Shadows blood red eyes looking at him*

IceHeart: Crud.

*Shadow flies towards IceHeart at an astounding speed*

*Shadow passes right through IceHeart leaving a huge gaping hole*

*IceHeart falls to the floor*

*Shadow return to his body and impales his head with his blade*

*Shadow then rips off IceHearts head, takes it off his blade and chruches it between both of his hands*

*Shadow then turns himself to Darklord*

Shadow: You might give out the lemons but your in a bar owned by the NHotA.

Darklord: *gulp*

*Shadow is about to kill DArklord but then he notices that the other NHotA are sad that they did not participate in the killing*

*Shadow flies up to Darklord and throws him to the other side of the bar to the other NHotA*

*While in flight thouands of Darknesses pass through Darklord making him feel extreme pain and at the same time detroying the roof from where they came*

*HeX, PheonixBlade, Scyth and Seona start to do their stuff to Darklord*

*Shadow Sits down on a stool and chips out another piece of his drink and eats it while watching the pieces of Darklord fly and make a mess*

*Dravin reappears by his master.*

Dravin: That was truely masterful master.

*Dravin wipes a tear from the corner of his eye.*

Dravin: Bartender, A Netnewbie on the rocks, with a twist of AoHell.

------------------
"Where ever you go, there you are!" - Said by *someone*