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quote:

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Originally posted by Dravin:
and looks over his shoulder at the shadows with a shudder.*

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Are you INSANE? Only Styxx can handle Essence of SpaceCrack! You've killed us all!

>Shrike closes all portals between the bar and his planet<

Game over man, game over!

*looks over at Shadow*

Dravin: "Can i be one of your henchmen?"

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"Where ever you go, there you are!" - Said by *someone*

* DarkHorse raises his glass. "To those who can speel rite."

Sirius: They pay tips in this bar?

* Sirius eyes a can of Mountain Dew.

Lazarus casts dispel magic on the imprisoment spell, then summons a fire extinguisher, and proceeds to douse Sirus.

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First thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thous't then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once thou hast counted to three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, at thine foe, who, being naughty in mine sight, shall snuff it.

* Styxx hears a loud clanck and turns around, seeing Shrike close a large - and presumably heavy - metal door right on the place where the portal existed. *

Shrike: Yup, that should do it...

Styxx: What happened?

Shrike: Some foos over at the bar dimension tried the Essence of SpaceCrackâ„¢.

Styxx: Ha! I'd like to watch that...

* Surprisingly, even with the protal closed and a huge metal door over it, the screaming of those who tried the holy substance can still be heard. The cries create a sense of supreme agony, as their few last microsseconds of life pass like days. *

Styxx: They had not realized the ultimate truth, and that's why they cannot see the beauty of the light created by the essence. All they can see or feel is the pain, and after that, death.

* Suddenly, all the screaming stops. *

Styxx: Oh, well. Back to our previous entertainment.

* Shrike, Styxx and Artimus (who's still dazed by the realization of the truth) turn back to the arena. *

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And I shall wipe them off the face of the Earth, with the fury of God's own thunder...

[url="http://terra.sourceforge.net"]Visit the Machina Terra Website[/url] - You'll be glad you did.

[This message has been edited by Styxx (edited 09-14-2000).]

*Bows, grateful for the reception and takes a sip off his glass.*

*Out of the corner of his eye he notices a patron is complaining the noise and raises and eyebrow.*

*Suddenly, the patron's chair is lifted high up in the air and the patron hangs to it, fearing he might fall off.*

*The chair turns around and slams hard on the floor, the patron squahsed beneath.*

*The chair raises itself and goes back to its place. The New NHotA throws his glass at another patron's face, crushing his skull.*

PhoenixBlade: Thank you very much for the reception, my friends.

*PhoenixBlade sits behind the bar, attentive to what happens inside.*

Hmm, a fire extinguisher is gonna work real well on a nuclear inferno... :P

Might wanna watch out for flares too.

"Uhh... Styxx? Shrike? Where'd you guys go?"

Sirus fails to notice the printed letters on the side of Lazarus' fire extinguisher "MAGIC FIRE EXTINGUISHER - PUTS OUT ALL KNOWN FIRES - NOW INCLUDING NUCLEAR INFRENOS"

Lazarus re-dusts Sirus for his inattentiveness

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First thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thous't then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once thou hast counted to three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, at thine foe, who, being naughty in mine sight, shall snuff it.

::Stuffs a cork in Lazarus' exhaust spout.::

This should be a good -------

::BOOOOOM!::

Catastophic pressure buildup.

Because it was frozen, the essence of space crack is released very slowly and so Shadow doen't do whatever you say he's supposed to do.

Back to the story.

*Shadow sees Hex fly out the window and thinks about adding some Anti-Lunacy in a bottle to his drink*

Shadow: Well euhh, Dravin, I could turn you into one of my minions, you'll have all their powers but you will have to do everything I tell you to do (mostly killing and possesing people) and there is a slight chance that you'll turn into a mindless darkness. Your choice.

*Shadow continues sucking on the piece of his drink*

Shadow: Ummm.

[This message has been edited by Shadow (edited 09-14-2000).]

*Phoenix picks up a broom and starts to sweep the remains of the dead patrons but then thinks better of it and gets an idea for a new cocktail, so he keeps the remains.*

*He glances outside and awaits new customers to wreak havoc upon, while activating the Super Duper NPC Spawner 2500 tm.*

*He then glances at his tips list and finds out that neither keef nor Lazarus have left a tip.*

PhoenixBlade: Where are the tips, guys?

*PhoenixBlade starts to crack his nuckles and adjust his Cape of Decapitation *

[This message has been edited by PhoenixBlade (edited 09-14-2000).]

*begins to munch on the beernuts before him.*

Dravin: "Well, sounds like a good deal for me Shadow, when do i start?"

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"Where ever you go, there you are!" - Said by *someone*

*HeX stares around at the remains of the patrons either mangled by Phoenix or killed from using the Essence of Spacecrack*

HeX: Ew. What a mess. I really need to get a janitor for this place. Well at least he didn't try mixing in a bottle of Anti-Lunacy or we would have had a REAL catastrophe.

*HeX takes a swig from a bottle of Anit-Lunacy. Suddenly one pupil shrinks while the other expands. HeX begins flying around the room like a light particle before bursting out a window and rocketing off into the distance*

Seona: He won't be back for a while. Last time he ended up in some foreign country.

Phoenix: Guess I got the bar.

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Founder and Designer of:
)( N Y X F A L L )(
"Mankind just got an eviction notice"

Oh, -magic- fire extinguisher. That could be a problem.

Well, then again, not after BlueFlames dealt with him.

* Sirius drops two soluble ultra-potent laxative pills in a patron's drink when he's not looking.

*evil grin*

Lazarus picks himself up from the remains of the fire extinguisher, and proceeds to swear simulteanusly in several languages, while throwing several things about the bar...

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First thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thous't then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once thou hast counted to three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, at thine foe, who, being naughty in mine sight, shall snuff it.

*Dravin barely misses having the back of his head caved in by debris thrown bye Lazuras, on the other hand the many bottles of booze behind the bar aren't so lucky.*

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"Where ever you go, there you are!" - Said by *someone*

*PhoenixBlade's eyes start to glow burning red. He jumps from the bar and holds Lazarus from the throat.*

PhoenixBlade: Not only do you not pay your tips, you wreak the bar? Only I can wreak the bar.

*Suddenly, the shards of broken glass from the bottles Lazarus destroyed start to vibrate and hover in the air. Phoenix throws Lazarus onto a chair and the shards fly by him, pinning Lazarus down.*

*The contents of some unbroken start to mix and create the Hyper Magical Molotov Cocktail , that flies all the way to Lazarus mouth. Phoenix sticks a cigar on Lazarus mouth and lights it, turning quickly, his Cape of Decapitation sawing Lazarus head, seperating it from the rest of his body.*

*Moments later, Lazarus' head blows up, raining guts and blood everywhere. PhoenixBlade catches his brain and gives it a kick, throwing it to an alternate reality.*

PhoenixBlade: Thank you, come again!

Ouch... I think i'm beat

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First thou shalt take out the holy pin, then thou shalt count to three, no more, no less. Three thou shalt count and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thous't then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once thou hast counted to three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thine Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, at thine foe, who, being naughty in mine sight, shall snuff it.