I ignored Gary Coleman
Posted: May 18, 2001 @ 01:34AM - By: ivan

My hotel room sucks. The fridge and busted air conditioner both make terrible clicking and humming noises; I swear they're both going out the window tonight if I can't get a good night's sleep. Anyway. E3 is overwhelming. I mean, very overwhelming. Fortunately, I'm no sucker and was thus able to avoid all the pre-E3 hassles like lines, disorganization, and utter chaos. In fact, I didn't have to wait in any sticking gringo line, because while all the foolios were picking up their badges and badge holders, I just ever so nonchalantly sauntered in. I figured if they stopped me I’d just go back and wait for my “required” stuff like everyone else, but fortunately for me the security there is so lax that I wasn’t even glanced at as I passed through the gates of the South hall and straight into Namco’s booth (details will be forthcoming). After a few minutes of browsing around getting a feel for things I noticed a booth with C&C: Renegade (details will be forthcoming). After a good chat with one of the Westwood goons and a gander at what the game was all about I was quickly tiring of the Renegade scene, but dev boy was clueless to the hints I was dropping; hints like, “Yeah, okay. Well, your game looks nice, but I’d better be going.” He seemed content and even overly anxious talking my ear off till I bled. Just as I was on the verge of simply turning around and walking away snubbing the poor bastard I heard a strangely familiar voice come from directly behind me.

What choo talkin’ ‘bout Willis (obviously not his exact words)? Ah Gary Coleman… Talk about weird. I mean, turning around and looking down to see that dude’s chubby little head. He was complimenting the Westwood dev guy on the game.

“So, this is your game. huh? Lookin’ good.”

I was oddly unimpressed with him. We made eye-contact, at which point I think he was going to say something to me, but I turned my back to him and ruffled through some papers; the classic attempt at evasion. He apparently got the point and stopped whatever it was he was going to say in mid-sentence. I saw my chance to leave and took it. On the way out I walked right through his assistant, or groupie, or whatever the hell you call them people, adding insult to injury. It was odd because my heart didn’t miss a beat, my mind didn’t give it a second thought until much later and I honestly didn’t care about him. I guess all them games will do that to you.

I snubbed Gary Coleman and later I’ll tell you about how I snubbed the NOLF girls and “Nuance.”

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